1. These bloody children are getting a better education than you ever did.

2. American teachers need to be told everything! Don't they just know everything, throw pieces of chalk at you and ask you, "You forgot your homework? Did you forget your lunch?"

3. You miss your toys. Building blocks, slinkies, plasticine, cheap Chinese imitations of Barbie and especially a thin mattress which was simultaneously portable fortress, desert island, the arctic, raft, lifeboat and palace.

4. Howstuffworks has a section on how women work.

5. If your gmail status says 'toys and tools' it arouses everyone's worst instincts.


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